On Love and emotions.

O words I don't believe you
You are nothing but a sound
what is a sound
a wave
propelled by emotion
I listen to emotions
I believe in emotions
words are meaningless

emotions have power
world devoid of emotions is dead
and relationship devoid of emotions is dead too
emotions reflect passion
the power to change
the power to destroy
the power to create
the power to conquer and the power to get conquered

Emotions I care for you
I cater you
I acknowledge you
I cherish emotions.
that' s why I love

only brave can love

because only brave can win

and only brave can endure the fall in the abyss of despair

because they know
"to love is to be vulnerable"
ani

Wait

Hey

What your eyes speak to me

transcends every language

I know you like me

I will wait till you say

I love you.

Magic of touch

Your hand brushes my hand
and leaves me with exuberance

I close my eyes as you go
and fly high to a dreamlike world

there I dance and dance
on the beat of love

for hours and hours I chase the star

that twinkles for me and smiles from far

I play with waves on a sandy beach
explore the world beyond everyone's reach

there is not an iota of pain
only pleasure and immutable gain

I was never alive so much
that is the magic of your touch

O time...Stop!

O time
stop
don't run
i have just felt equilibrium
a string from my heart
touching the moon
and the moonlight engulfing my heart
stars whisper to me
space is an illusion
love abounds
I float
seeing the dream with open eyes
O time
stop
don't run
I have just felt equilibrium.

I am forgiving you.

for bullying me

for exploiting me

for making fun of me
-----------------------

its a beautiful moon tonight and air is cool and i love life.

Flow of words.

Breath, moment, feel, pain, pleasure, ache, back, weight, sound, itch, cold, wind, air, night, sound, click, tick, alive, aware, love, time, touch, focus, will, win, life, bubble, sky, color, rainbow, dance, dive, sand, sun, beach, waves, bare, splash, moon, night, stars, camp, silence, milky way, desert, morning, lake, boat, song, girl, eyes, hair, tea, talk, connect, story, legend, present, future, hike, walk, you, me.

New Arrival.

On 9th February 2008 Allah blessed me with a son. Exactly 4 years ago on 9th February 2004 my father departed for his eternal journey. Now I have a male companion in a home where I used to be the only male member.

Setting the priorities right.

Last night I saw in my dream that I found a diary of my deceased uncle. When I turned the page a note was written for me. It was written that by now you must have become a highly successful person in your career and established yourself. I thought that it was not so as I was still struggling. I read more and it was written that no matter what you achieve the real success is when you are fair, honest and a good human being. The emphasis of the message was not so much on gaining a high position in a career but on achieving high moral standards in life.

Chinook.: Where it leads me!!

We come across new information and knowledge on daily basis while watching television, reading a book, chatting with a friend on internet or talking with people face to face but often the information is lost as we busy ourselves with the next activity. In each of the new information is the potential to become one's passion and destiny. If we trace the start of our hobbies, occupations, interests, likes, dislikes, ideas and desires we will find that some where some day we heard about our future interest, desires etc and then we build on that information and turned it into our interest and made it part of our personality. For example when I trace my interest in world geography I find that one of my friend in primary school once showed me the map of Africa on his journal and I was fascinated by the squared and rectangular shaped countries ( Ghana, Ivory Coast, Togo, Dahomey) as they looked very beautiful on the map. I asked my father to buy a globe for me. He was pleasantly surprised that I was asking for a globe and he happily brought a globe from his nest visit to Karachi. I started spending hours and hours to locate countries and then started reading about their culture and history. I wonder if I had not built on my interest in maps after seeing that colorful map of Africa in my friend's journal would I be able to develop my interest in history and culture of these countries scattered on maps.
All of these thoughts have given me an idea to pick any topic from our daily interactions and then find more about it and see where it would lead us. It may lead us to new interests, places or people and enrich our life in ways we never expected.

For this experiment I have picked up "Chinook" from the chat with my cousin who lives in Canada. He mentioned about Chinook that it blew last week and melted the snow quickly. I was amazed by the information that there could be hot winds in such a cold climate that melt the snow. I am building on this information and lets see where it leads me.

You.

You are my imagination, you are my fascination
You are my fantasy, you are my reality.
You are my punching bag, you are my consoling pillow,
You are my teether, you are my soother
You are my lottery, you are my trophy
You are my Lolita, you are my Cinderella
You are my Gandri, You are my sundri.
You are my date, you are my fate.

Sustainable Tourism....seems interesting.

So finally I am at the stage where I have to do my first Independent Study for my MS degree. I have started doing secondary research for my area of interest and it is Sustainable Tourism. In Sindh, what I have seen from my preliminary literature review, much has not been done in this area and I feel that if I do the research to find the potential and problems of ST it could become a seminal work for my PhD. ( I am right now thinking of terminating my studies at MS). The area on which I want to work is Nagar Parkar. It is a small town in the South East of Sindh surrounded by India from three sides. It has Karoonjhar Mountains in its back ground and scattered Jain temples on its plains. The local tourism potential is very high keeping in view the presence of natural and cultural tourist attractions. I have been to the area in 2000 and 2003 and have good local links there to pursue the research the only problem is that its more than 5 hours journey from Hyderabad. I want to work in this area but I am thinking to do my IS first in a near by area on the same topic and then if I things move in the same direction as I hope for than extend the research to cover Nagar Parkar for any funding organization. I am working for my research proposal and do want to get over it as soon as possible to actually start working on the research. It's going to be exciting but I have to keep a vigil on my habit of procrastination because this habit keeps popping its head too often.

Not my kind.

I am sorry and would you please leave. Leave from my life as if you never existed. Don't get the impression that my smiling and behaving nicely towards you mean I want you back. No, I just want to give you a nice valediction. I have lost interest in you and I am moving forward. You are not my kind and thanks for letting me know this so early. Bye.

Udero Lal.

After a long time I went to a visit to Udero Lal. Udero Lal is famous for the resting place of a saint " Udero Lal", who is respected by both Muslims and Hindus. It is the place where you will find mosque and temple side by side and both Hindus and Muslim devotees coming inside the tomb from the same door. As I stood there I thought that we should make known the sufi culture of Pakistan especially in Sindh and Punjab provinces where extremism doesn't exist and religious harmony prevails.

Home away.

I am in Karachi since last few days and my stays in Karachi are getting prolonged. My classes are scheduled on Sundays too to cover up the loss of classes due to October 18 unrest and secondly I am working here on a feasibility to establish a business . I am missing my home.

Lost but not defeated.

The taste of loss is not as bitter as I was anticipating. The fear of dreadful was killing me but dreadful failed to kill me. It is over and I have lost the battle. I fought till end and never quit. I am bruised and lost in oblivion. Licking wounds, empty handed and alone I reflect and say to myself never mind you followed your dream. I have nothing except my intact self esteem to challenge again the forces who think I am a history. The loss I endure is far more dear to me than the gains that tempt me to forsake my ideals. I am biding my time to reenter the arena.

Of Love and Insanity.

I read a real life story titled "Of Love and Insanity" in the Bangladeshi newspaper The Daily Star. The story is of a young lower middle class guy who fell in love with a girl six years senior to him and belonging to an elite class. The common story is narrated poignantly. I especially like the comment of the writer about love. Here it is

"Stories in real life end in such prosaic ways that one wonders what is the meaning or purpose of all the heart-rending, foolish happiness and sufferings that precedes them. Why do we get entangled in the cobwebs of lunacy called love, when the endings are almost always so mundane?".

Yet we do fall in love, there is no escaping from it. I believe tribulations and elations experienced in love make one wiser not to fall in love again. Love brings pain and severely hampers the cerebral function and eventually brings a period of depression from which the sufferer recovers with phenomenal efforts and at great cost of time. Despite all the sufferings a lover must endure there is no point regretting the experience of love because not to fall in love is to live life too safely and insipidly. I do agree with the conclusion that the endings of love are mundane but without love the beginning and middle are mundane too. With love some part of life becomes exciting and even the mundane ending of love gives life something to reminisce. This isn't a bad deal, is it?

Doris Lessing wins Nobel Prize in Literature.

Since last few years I am following the literary world with interest. I read literary blogs and book review sections of Guardian, New York Times and Dawn. The literary blogs I read with most interest are Chandrahas' The Middle Stage and Laila Lalami's blog. I was keenly waiting for this year winner of Nobel Prize in literature. The announcement has been made finally and its Dorris Lessing of England who has won the prize. Frankly I have never heard of her name before the announcement of her winning the prize so an internet search on her was inevitable. What I found was an 87 years old self taught writer who was born in Persia (Iran) in 1919 and spend most of her early phase of life in Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe). Her childhood was of much pain and less pleasure and once she commented unhappy childhoods seem to produce fiction writers. Once she asked that what use are men and then answered herself, men had been introduced to "pep up" a slothful, lazy world of women. An interesting answer indeed. Though I believe that all women may not agree to the answer of Lessing. Will I be looking for her books to read? I am not sure. I will read more about her books and then decide if Ireally like to read her books. The most likely book that I will read is "The golden Notebook" as it is considered her best. She is the oldest Nobel Prize winner in Literature.

To a silver star.

The flight was sudden and I found myself traveling millions of light years of distance in a flash. It was a silver star where I landed. I may have seen that star from my home in earth but in my wildest imagination I could not think of reaching that star. I am stunned by my presence on the lonely star far in the galaxy where I see nothing but silver dust and an entirely different composition of sky over me. I have been pulled out of my earthly home and thrown into a new world. The feeling of detachment from everything earthly gives me a feeling of uninvited calm and I feel so lonely that I long for the chaos and mess of the earthly life. Yet the calm all around me is settling on my heart and I feel my nerves relaxed and my senses sharpen.
What was the anxiety that disturbed me while I was on earth? The source of all of my anxiety was in my thoughts, the anxiety was of my own making. What I was fighting for and striving for? Why was I always tense and never allowed myself to detach from the web of mundane activities to create a heavenly calm. Here the silence is profound and I can listen the voice of my thoughts. The voice of my thoughts is good to listen and I regret why I never let silence to prevail there to listen to my thoughts.

I look over the sky and find millions of stars and wonder which one is my earth's star sun. Is it the one blinking on the far southern horizon or the one on the northern sky. I want to talk to the sun and tell it that I am missing its warmth and shine. As I see the sun lost among millions of stars I feel myself so insignificant because having a big powerful sun is what made us human beings think grand. It was so personal to have it as our daily companion that now as it is nothing but one of the millions of stars over there I understand we human being have been living in a state of self delusion. I think about the wars, killings, fights on earth, that earth whose existence is impossible to detect from here and with such spectaculars celestial bodies all around me it would be sheer stupidity to even think about such a wretched entity.

Then a question pops into my mind What has made the earth, sun and universe exist, what has made this silver star alive, relevant? The answer is" my thinking".It is in my mind where universe exists. With this realization I long for my earthly abode to see the rising sun and listen to my thoughts and to live without missing the calm that prevails there too. I can do that now I know.

Smile on your face.

The heart floats on a bouncy sea
Or the sea of my heart is bouncy
I don't know where does the turmoil come from
What I do know is the calm that prevails
whenever I see the smile on your face

Anita Roddick.

When I started my studies in Business Administration I came across Liberation Managment a book by Tom Peters. In one of the chapters he told the story of Anita Roddick, the founder of Body Shop. Simple, straightforward and passionate, Anita Roddick created a special place in my heart as the leader of business world. When I started teaching business subjects I often quoted Anita Roddick's passion for her work. Today I read the news of her death and felt deeply saddened. A great soul has left the world.