Chinook.: Where it leads me!!

We come across new information and knowledge on daily basis while watching television, reading a book, chatting with a friend on internet or talking with people face to face but often the information is lost as we busy ourselves with the next activity. In each of the new information is the potential to become one's passion and destiny. If we trace the start of our hobbies, occupations, interests, likes, dislikes, ideas and desires we will find that some where some day we heard about our future interest, desires etc and then we build on that information and turned it into our interest and made it part of our personality. For example when I trace my interest in world geography I find that one of my friend in primary school once showed me the map of Africa on his journal and I was fascinated by the squared and rectangular shaped countries ( Ghana, Ivory Coast, Togo, Dahomey) as they looked very beautiful on the map. I asked my father to buy a globe for me. He was pleasantly surprised that I was asking for a globe and he happily brought a globe from his nest visit to Karachi. I started spending hours and hours to locate countries and then started reading about their culture and history. I wonder if I had not built on my interest in maps after seeing that colorful map of Africa in my friend's journal would I be able to develop my interest in history and culture of these countries scattered on maps.
All of these thoughts have given me an idea to pick any topic from our daily interactions and then find more about it and see where it would lead us. It may lead us to new interests, places or people and enrich our life in ways we never expected.

For this experiment I have picked up "Chinook" from the chat with my cousin who lives in Canada. He mentioned about Chinook that it blew last week and melted the snow quickly. I was amazed by the information that there could be hot winds in such a cold climate that melt the snow. I am building on this information and lets see where it leads me.

You.

You are my imagination, you are my fascination
You are my fantasy, you are my reality.
You are my punching bag, you are my consoling pillow,
You are my teether, you are my soother
You are my lottery, you are my trophy
You are my Lolita, you are my Cinderella
You are my Gandri, You are my sundri.
You are my date, you are my fate.

Sustainable Tourism....seems interesting.

So finally I am at the stage where I have to do my first Independent Study for my MS degree. I have started doing secondary research for my area of interest and it is Sustainable Tourism. In Sindh, what I have seen from my preliminary literature review, much has not been done in this area and I feel that if I do the research to find the potential and problems of ST it could become a seminal work for my PhD. ( I am right now thinking of terminating my studies at MS). The area on which I want to work is Nagar Parkar. It is a small town in the South East of Sindh surrounded by India from three sides. It has Karoonjhar Mountains in its back ground and scattered Jain temples on its plains. The local tourism potential is very high keeping in view the presence of natural and cultural tourist attractions. I have been to the area in 2000 and 2003 and have good local links there to pursue the research the only problem is that its more than 5 hours journey from Hyderabad. I want to work in this area but I am thinking to do my IS first in a near by area on the same topic and then if I things move in the same direction as I hope for than extend the research to cover Nagar Parkar for any funding organization. I am working for my research proposal and do want to get over it as soon as possible to actually start working on the research. It's going to be exciting but I have to keep a vigil on my habit of procrastination because this habit keeps popping its head too often.

Not my kind.

I am sorry and would you please leave. Leave from my life as if you never existed. Don't get the impression that my smiling and behaving nicely towards you mean I want you back. No, I just want to give you a nice valediction. I have lost interest in you and I am moving forward. You are not my kind and thanks for letting me know this so early. Bye.

Udero Lal.

After a long time I went to a visit to Udero Lal. Udero Lal is famous for the resting place of a saint " Udero Lal", who is respected by both Muslims and Hindus. It is the place where you will find mosque and temple side by side and both Hindus and Muslim devotees coming inside the tomb from the same door. As I stood there I thought that we should make known the sufi culture of Pakistan especially in Sindh and Punjab provinces where extremism doesn't exist and religious harmony prevails.

Home away.

I am in Karachi since last few days and my stays in Karachi are getting prolonged. My classes are scheduled on Sundays too to cover up the loss of classes due to October 18 unrest and secondly I am working here on a feasibility to establish a business . I am missing my home.

Lost but not defeated.

The taste of loss is not as bitter as I was anticipating. The fear of dreadful was killing me but dreadful failed to kill me. It is over and I have lost the battle. I fought till end and never quit. I am bruised and lost in oblivion. Licking wounds, empty handed and alone I reflect and say to myself never mind you followed your dream. I have nothing except my intact self esteem to challenge again the forces who think I am a history. The loss I endure is far more dear to me than the gains that tempt me to forsake my ideals. I am biding my time to reenter the arena.

Of Love and Insanity.

I read a real life story titled "Of Love and Insanity" in the Bangladeshi newspaper The Daily Star. The story is of a young lower middle class guy who fell in love with a girl six years senior to him and belonging to an elite class. The common story is narrated poignantly. I especially like the comment of the writer about love. Here it is

"Stories in real life end in such prosaic ways that one wonders what is the meaning or purpose of all the heart-rending, foolish happiness and sufferings that precedes them. Why do we get entangled in the cobwebs of lunacy called love, when the endings are almost always so mundane?".

Yet we do fall in love, there is no escaping from it. I believe tribulations and elations experienced in love make one wiser not to fall in love again. Love brings pain and severely hampers the cerebral function and eventually brings a period of depression from which the sufferer recovers with phenomenal efforts and at great cost of time. Despite all the sufferings a lover must endure there is no point regretting the experience of love because not to fall in love is to live life too safely and insipidly. I do agree with the conclusion that the endings of love are mundane but without love the beginning and middle are mundane too. With love some part of life becomes exciting and even the mundane ending of love gives life something to reminisce. This isn't a bad deal, is it?

Doris Lessing wins Nobel Prize in Literature.

Since last few years I am following the literary world with interest. I read literary blogs and book review sections of Guardian, New York Times and Dawn. The literary blogs I read with most interest are Chandrahas' The Middle Stage and Laila Lalami's blog. I was keenly waiting for this year winner of Nobel Prize in literature. The announcement has been made finally and its Dorris Lessing of England who has won the prize. Frankly I have never heard of her name before the announcement of her winning the prize so an internet search on her was inevitable. What I found was an 87 years old self taught writer who was born in Persia (Iran) in 1919 and spend most of her early phase of life in Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe). Her childhood was of much pain and less pleasure and once she commented unhappy childhoods seem to produce fiction writers. Once she asked that what use are men and then answered herself, men had been introduced to "pep up" a slothful, lazy world of women. An interesting answer indeed. Though I believe that all women may not agree to the answer of Lessing. Will I be looking for her books to read? I am not sure. I will read more about her books and then decide if Ireally like to read her books. The most likely book that I will read is "The golden Notebook" as it is considered her best. She is the oldest Nobel Prize winner in Literature.

To a silver star.

The flight was sudden and I found myself traveling millions of light years of distance in a flash. It was a silver star where I landed. I may have seen that star from my home in earth but in my wildest imagination I could not think of reaching that star. I am stunned by my presence on the lonely star far in the galaxy where I see nothing but silver dust and an entirely different composition of sky over me. I have been pulled out of my earthly home and thrown into a new world. The feeling of detachment from everything earthly gives me a feeling of uninvited calm and I feel so lonely that I long for the chaos and mess of the earthly life. Yet the calm all around me is settling on my heart and I feel my nerves relaxed and my senses sharpen.
What was the anxiety that disturbed me while I was on earth? The source of all of my anxiety was in my thoughts, the anxiety was of my own making. What I was fighting for and striving for? Why was I always tense and never allowed myself to detach from the web of mundane activities to create a heavenly calm. Here the silence is profound and I can listen the voice of my thoughts. The voice of my thoughts is good to listen and I regret why I never let silence to prevail there to listen to my thoughts.

I look over the sky and find millions of stars and wonder which one is my earth's star sun. Is it the one blinking on the far southern horizon or the one on the northern sky. I want to talk to the sun and tell it that I am missing its warmth and shine. As I see the sun lost among millions of stars I feel myself so insignificant because having a big powerful sun is what made us human beings think grand. It was so personal to have it as our daily companion that now as it is nothing but one of the millions of stars over there I understand we human being have been living in a state of self delusion. I think about the wars, killings, fights on earth, that earth whose existence is impossible to detect from here and with such spectaculars celestial bodies all around me it would be sheer stupidity to even think about such a wretched entity.

Then a question pops into my mind What has made the earth, sun and universe exist, what has made this silver star alive, relevant? The answer is" my thinking".It is in my mind where universe exists. With this realization I long for my earthly abode to see the rising sun and listen to my thoughts and to live without missing the calm that prevails there too. I can do that now I know.

Smile on your face.

The heart floats on a bouncy sea
Or the sea of my heart is bouncy
I don't know where does the turmoil come from
What I do know is the calm that prevails
whenever I see the smile on your face

Anita Roddick.

When I started my studies in Business Administration I came across Liberation Managment a book by Tom Peters. In one of the chapters he told the story of Anita Roddick, the founder of Body Shop. Simple, straightforward and passionate, Anita Roddick created a special place in my heart as the leader of business world. When I started teaching business subjects I often quoted Anita Roddick's passion for her work. Today I read the news of her death and felt deeply saddened. A great soul has left the world.

An oozing from heart.

Sweetness oozes from heart and satiates my soul. Time stops and the moment envelops me and I become one with nature. My awe of the universe disppears as I stop seeing myself and acknowledge only the universe. The moon, stars, vast sky, cool breeze and I are nothing but manifestation of only one phenomenon. Love prevails and I float in the river of love all around me.

Resolve.

When I am hurt by your words and I tell you that I am hurt, it hurts you and when you are hurt it further hurts me so I have decided not to tell you that I am hurt as I know you never intend to hurt me. In this way I will save myself from further getting hurt.

First time tagged.

This is the first time I am tagged and by no other than one of my favorite blogger Ali.

The rules:

1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts. 2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves. 3. People who are tagged write their own blog post about their eight things and include these rules. 4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged and that they should read your blog.

Here are my eight things.

1. I have a peculiar fascination about places and countries in the South. My list of dream destinations consists of places like 1. Punta Arenas ( A town in Southern Chile in South America), Trivandaram ( A town on the tip of South India) 3. Cape Town ( South Africa). I live in Sindh (Southern Province of Pakistan) and I travelled to Keti Bandar recently to fulfill my desire of seeing the ultimate South of Pakistan.

2. I am very clumsy in doing anything with wires, screws, nut and bolts. Sometimes it takes me hours to join two simple wires in an electrical switch or mend a broken telephone wire.

3. I am obsessed with de cluttering. Every week I am seen emptying my drawers and throwing out junk. (I wonder how does the junk accumulate so frequently.) It is a continuous struggle to get my drawers, shelves and closets organized and simplified. My family members say that my favorite hobby is to clean my drawers.

4. I don't feel comfortable in having a number equalling 8. I don't intentionally avoid 8 but I don't feel comfortable when dealing with any number equaling 8 like travelling on 8, 17 or 26 of a month or having my bank account number or credit card number equalling 8. I consider 1 being my lucky number.

5. Travelling gives me immense pleasure. The journey is my destination. The sight of plains, rugged mountains, green pastures, rivers and sands gives me immense pleasure.

6. I cannot sleep without having my eyes covered with a piece of cloth. If nothing is available I place my hand over my eyes and sleep.

7. Reading maps is one of my favorite pastimes. I can spend hours and hours to study the maps of countries and continents.

8. I am very emotionally attached to my students and try to know each of them as an individual. I often remember the birthdays of my students even if I had taught them years ago.

I tag Psyched.

Tryst with nature.

It's been a hat trick to watch sunrise from the roof of my home. Clouds, sun and birds with moon hovering in the opposite horizon make the morning rise a tryst with nature. I feel bringing the nature at my door step and without getting out of my home I enjoy the colorful show as a solo audience. What I like best is the turning of the color of sky from blue to orange in the east. Today it was hide and seek between sun and clouds and I was mesmerized by the glow of sun behind the clouds. I forgot where I was and found myself as part of a great celestial drama. Everyday nature offers spectacular scenes to watch, feel and be part of them but we miss them or fail to acknowledge their uniqueness. As it is said by a classical Urdu poet Mir Dard "Sarsary hum is jahan say guzray, Warna har ja jahan e digar tha". ( We passed this world cursorily, otherwise every place was a world in itself.)

38...so what!!!

Next month I will be 38 years old. When I look back at my last 10 years of life I find myself going through a lot of change. During these 10 years I have suffered set backs, endured difficult times, tasted defeats and passed through the phase of total abandonment by my so called close friends. The last decade has also given me some of the greatest happinesses of my life. I have become far more open, spontaneous, easygoing and carefree than what I was in 1997. I used to take everything very seriously and allow myself no margin of error. Hence I was very upright, fastidious and no-nonsense in dealing with people especially with students. I was respected but at the same time I was a lonely person. I used to wonder why any girl was not in my life. I was well educated, well placed, good looking yet I was a failure in the matter of love. I could talk for hours on current political issues, history, management, economics but couldn't engage a girl in a light conversation. One of my female colleague told me to read literature to understand the complexities of human relationships and particularly to understand female psychology because she felt I was too prudish. Literature didn't help me much to understand the female psychology what helped me most were women themselves. When I started listening to my female colleagues, to my cousins, to my girl students, I found that what women want is understanding of their emotions. All my credentials worth nothing when it comes to winning the heart of a woman because I knew only how to involve the brain and didn't know how to engage the heart. It was big eye opener for me. The transformation of my personality started and I became slowly more open and relaxed. Life became easy for me and I started enjoying my work more. The change in my personality didn't come quickly and easily and it took many years before I was able to get out of the confinement of a nice, perfect and infallible image that I had locked myself into. Then love of my life came. My poem roller coaster describes my sentiments.

Roller Coaster

"I am flawed, erratic and moody
yet you hold my hand all along
not knowing where I would lead you
sometimes we soar as if never to fall
when I become quiet, you wait for my call
my life is like a roller coaster
Love entered in my life when I stopped being perfect
and it was then you told me " I love to ride on a roller coaster.

I am not what I was in 1997 and I will be not what I am today in 2017. I have seen many of my dreams gone shattered and many new dreams come alive. I have met scores of beautiful, intelligent and remarkable women, read rich literature from Kundera to Murakami, travelled to remote and rugged places in Sindh, captured marvellous natural scenes in my camera, listened to intellectual giants and savored quality food during the last decade especially during last 5 years.

I feel young, 38 doesn't describe me. "Cheeni Kum."

A bud.

The touch of bud enlivens my heart. Spirited, gushing, untrammelled flow of admiration from every action has inundated my heart. "It's you, I swear", these words have made my day.

Khamushi.

Ae khamushi utar ja meray dil mein
sunna chahta hun dil kehta hai kiya
bohat hangamay hain dunya main aur main hun dhoondta
ik gosha jahan main or ho mera dil
phir karun ghanton batain apnay dil say
Ae khamushi utar ja meray dil mein

My Heaven.

Books, Paintings, Music and You.