Making of a Player

Many years ago he said to his love,

"I love you with free will
and you know that I love you
don't tie me with the chain of my love to you
I abhor to be slaved
don't punish me for telling you that I love you
lest I become a manipulator
a player
who will never love, just pretend to fall in love
infact to make other fall in love
and then treat them the way you are treating me
tell me.........has your love been trampled?
is it a vicious circle?.....break this circle
embrace my love."

--------------------
"He is a player now."

Done away with....

I have done away with all the musts
I fly high, see the crumbling shackles
My restive heart longing for the desert night
I look for abode far away in the mountain's height
I am one of you O shimmering stars
we don't need words to talk for hours
O rain! come, greet me, I am free
touch my soul, hail the victory.

Fear.

I want to visit Gorakh Hills since the time I came to know that it is the highest peak in Sindh. The problem is that it lies in the hinterland of Dadu district which is notorious due to the presence of dacoits. Although I have travelled many times in that area but I never ventured deep inside the hills off the main Indus High way. I know local people there , I have talked to them and they are willing to provide me escort to Gorakh Hills, but a certain unknown fear occupies my heart, and I don't like that I am afraid. I am afraid of what? Is it about dacoits? Those dacoits who may or may not be present.
I know that one has to take risks to explore the unknown. Sometimes I think the dacoit fear is just an excuse to keep delaying the reply to the call of wilderness, to keep supressing the desire of the heart because now the heart is testing the resolve of the lover of nature. Fears are within not outside. The real dacoit is the fear that is robbing me of my dreams, I will not let it do that.

Her plea.

Do not surrender so quickly
let me conquer you
it's just the beginning
let the flicker turn into the flame
let me miss you, let me think of you
let me sigh, let me die, let me come alive
let me burn, let me yearn and let me earn your love
let me have all the feelings
make me complete.

That hurts...

I: You know when I will be old, I will look back at the time spend with you and cherish every moment of it and remember you as someone who touched the strings of my heart subtly and I will be thankful to you for opening yourself to me, for trusting me and for making my life more beautiful.
She: Oh! you will leave me, that hurts.

Among the intellegentsia

Whenever I feel frustrated by the lack of opportunities to indulge in intellectual discussions I take refuge in the cyberspace. I knock the doors of eminent writers, enter their homes, listen to them and savor their words as if they are the drops of honey. I completely lose the sense of time and space while I am in their company. Today I have come to know about some of the great literary minds and now I look forward to reading their books. I am give credit to Chandrahas Choudhury for becoming my guide to the literary world of cyberspace. His blog The Middle Stage is one of the finest blogs on literature. Today I met Nepalese writer Samrat Upadhyay. He has written short stories as well as a novel. I am fond of reading novels so I will be ordering his novel The Guru of Love from Liberty Books. (In Hyderabad I hardly find latest books in English literature so I have to rely on my visits to Karachi or on online shopping.) Next in the line was William Trevor. The rendezvous took place at BBC website. He was a sculptor but then fell for his love for words. If you do what you are passionate about you are bound to excel. I have not yet decided which of Trevor's book I will read. Apart from these two writers I read about other writers and their books. During the reading I kept picking up new words for building the vocabulary. Oh!! I love words as they are the pebbles I play with and and I want lots of them. Before I finish I want to mention about another writer whose books are among the top of my list for future reading. Eduardo Galeano is the writer from Uruguay. I like to know about history, culture and politics of land in fiction and it seems Galeano has produced some work that is exactly what I want to read.