I want to be with me.

Do me a favor, just leave me alone
to breath fresh air in a world of my own

Let me dwell in the silence of my heart
Where time doesn't exist and I am not apart

My soul is wounded, it needs a healing touch
Few quite moments,I am not asking for much

O desert, O river do attend my call
rocks,lakes,and sea I miss you all

Inevitable Change.

Why am I pulled by the thoughts of past whenever I go to sleep? Why is it so that my past never stops following me? Why do I keep thinking about the cracks that existed in some of my important relationships? Why can't I overcome this? Losses, losses, losses when will the flow of losses cease? Why am I the slave of my impulses? Why I cannot rein my self? Why I keep always thinking that wrongs have been done to me? Why, why, why, why, why, why?????? Oh!! I feel overwhelmed but should I behave like this? No, and I know I shouldn't. I know all the answers but I don't want to admit it. All of my sharp edges have been exposed. The big task ahead. So much to do. I have to do. I will have to do. Oh, my world is changing. I have to accept it. Life is changing. I have led myself too far away, I have to find the road towards my destination. I know what to do. I will prevail. I will have to, I have no other choice. I shall return.

Milton Friedman and teaching.

Today I watched the lectures, Q&A sessions and interviews of Milton Friedman on Youtube. If I say I was impressed by his knowledge, power of arguments and control it would be an understatement as Friedman was no ordinary person but one of the most influential economists of all times, proponent of free market economy, defender of capitalism as a necessary (not sufficient) system for development. He was lauded by many as a remarkable teacher and when I heard this I felt very good that being a teacher was not considered any less qualification than say economist. I know that teaching is a noble profession but through out my career as a teacher I have been asked pinching questions why I chose to become a teacher (thanks those who were asking these questions didn't question my volition for teaching profession) when I could otherwise had gone to join any MNC. Here I see the praise for Friedman as teacher and feel sky is the limit. What pulls me towards teaching is a continuous exchange of ideas in classrooms between students and teacher. What I like best is the interaction with hundreds of new students every year and making connection with them on the basis of knowledge. Understanding of each student to a level where he or she can understand the current theory and then challenge it in a way where I can see the student is applying his or her thinking skills. I try to keep it simple. When I say simple it means I want to communicate the crux of the theory in as simple way as possible and when theory is understood I try to give examples from the daily life or better I ask students to give examples from their own experiences. Even a joke is not out of the point if it helps in understanding the idea. Sometimes I start with examples and then give theory later on. The objective is to talk, communicate and reach to the students in a language that they understand. Teaching is intertwined with art of communication and at the heart of communication lies understanding of the audience and you cannot understand them until you get out of your own insecurities and you can get out of your own insecurities only if you know truly what you are talking about. Knowledge is power and it makes you humble as you know that being humble doesn't mean being weak and on the contrary being bullish or aggressive means something is lacking that you want to hide in the posture of being intimidating. If you can listen to the questions patiently that means you are giving your audience respect and you know you are confident to give the answer even sometimes the right answer may be " I don't know". I never heard Friedman saying " I don't know" ( he might have said it, but the videos I watched in that he never said" but what I heard was always a confident, in depth and passionate answer.

Self Talk..

Ok, I know it has been a challenging and difficult time you are spending now days. So what!! It has to be in this way. After all you have enjoyed the luxury of following your dreams. So why blame your failures on those who have not been understanding towards you. Stop acting like a child. You know this is not a mature way to deal with the challenges you face, to sort out the mess you create. Why do you ask so much from those who love you? Don't put them in such a situation lest they start doubting your ability to tackle problems. This is life. Don't think that life was ever meant to be straightforward and predictable. It doesn't work this way. Take charge, be responsible and act.Hey Man!!! you know you have all the resources to stun the world with your success. Don't shy away from it!!

Forgive oneself.

Let the past die or slip away
each moment as it passes, passes away
where does it survive? only in our memory
and we keep some moments alive by reliving it
the worst or best of the moments
we relive our tortures more often than our pleasures
why do we punish ourselves
we punish ourselves because we feel we have committed great sins
we become our own judge
we do not have mercy on ourselves and we keep punishing ourselves by reliving those moments when we felt betrayed, insulted, tortured, manipulated, forgotten, ignored, and then we say that it was all due to our sins , our faults, the human errs, why not leave the moments in the past and live the life anew
recreate oneself
love is the healer
forgive oneself and move ahead
live, feel the breath of life
and feel the birth of new moment each moment.

Feeling at home.

Well, after spending five days in Karachi, I am back to Hyderabad. What a reception I got on my return, wow!! My two little princesses jumped in jubilation as they saw my entering home. I was exhilarated.In the night we all went for a walk. It was quite dark as the electricity was off due to load shedding. The southern sky was in front of us full of twinkling stars. We walked very slowly as our little princesses were with us taking small steps. Its quiet here and I am at home, physically as well as mentally.

An art to create beautiful relationships.

A little care goes a long way in keeping the relationships vibrant. A little thought, a gesture, a beautiful word, an act of kindness, a compliment or a touch of understanding requires not much time but a sincere moment of thinking exclusively about the person who is important in your life. It is an art to create a beautiful relationship.

Cherish the moment

Stop and let me breath
let me feel the moment
let me feel the life
why run away from the destination
lets fill each moment with exhilaration
I love life as it is now
don't entice me with the promises of grandeur
I am happy in my little world for sure
See there the sun is rising
its a miracle not an ordinary thing
every moment is in itself a life
cherish the moment cherish the life!!

Teaching in Karachi.

It is the third week since my start of teaching in Karachi. My classes are on two days of the week and for that I commute from Hyderabad. It's hectic but exciting. My teaching at Hyderabad continues.

Common man.

Faceless common man
lost in the humdrum
scorching sun above
sweating profusely
walking briskly
reaching home
drinking tea
playing with kids
eating calmly, sleeping deeply
next day
same cycle
one day
he is no more
no one notices his absence
life goes on.
Lucky guy he was.

Calm down.

O my heart calm down
I caress you, calm down
I love you, calm down
it will pass too, calm down
think of good times we spent together
there will be better times, calm down
rest rest and relax, calm down
O my heart, calm down.

Chaos.

The chaos all around, books and papers scattered in the room, noises children playing and later crying, heat and power failure, unfinished tasks and fractured relationships it seems that equilibrium is lost and I need to regain the sangfroid earnestly. How should I begun. Writing about all the mess around is the first step to bring my concentration back to the most important tasks needed to be done. Not many weeks ago I had written that I have found balance and poise but it all slipped way. Why did it happen and why did I let it happen? A small misstep and then not checking it in time lead to the astray. I have to pull it back, my inner calm.

Back to blogging.

This has been the longest break from blogging as I was tied up in so many things tangible as well as intangible. My research on tourism went very well and I had a unique opportunity to interact with local people of Keenjhar Lake. I have to complete another research the completion of MS degree. Three kids and life is full of fun. I keep doing my jaunts in and around Hyderabad with family and take photographs. I am more into flickr now a days. These few lines are just to break a long hiatus on blogworld.

On Love and emotions.

O words I don't believe you
You are nothing but a sound
what is a sound
a wave
propelled by emotion
I listen to emotions
I believe in emotions
words are meaningless

emotions have power
world devoid of emotions is dead
and relationship devoid of emotions is dead too
emotions reflect passion
the power to change
the power to destroy
the power to create
the power to conquer and the power to get conquered

Emotions I care for you
I cater you
I acknowledge you
I cherish emotions.
that' s why I love

only brave can love

because only brave can win

and only brave can endure the fall in the abyss of despair

because they know
"to love is to be vulnerable"
ani

Wait

Hey

What your eyes speak to me

transcends every language

I know you like me

I will wait till you say

I love you.

Magic of touch

Your hand brushes my hand
and leaves me with exuberance

I close my eyes as you go
and fly high to a dreamlike world

there I dance and dance
on the beat of love

for hours and hours I chase the star

that twinkles for me and smiles from far

I play with waves on a sandy beach
explore the world beyond everyone's reach

there is not an iota of pain
only pleasure and immutable gain

I was never alive so much
that is the magic of your touch

O time...Stop!

O time
stop
don't run
i have just felt equilibrium
a string from my heart
touching the moon
and the moonlight engulfing my heart
stars whisper to me
space is an illusion
love abounds
I float
seeing the dream with open eyes
O time
stop
don't run
I have just felt equilibrium.

I am forgiving you.

for bullying me

for exploiting me

for making fun of me
-----------------------

its a beautiful moon tonight and air is cool and i love life.

Flow of words.

Breath, moment, feel, pain, pleasure, ache, back, weight, sound, itch, cold, wind, air, night, sound, click, tick, alive, aware, love, time, touch, focus, will, win, life, bubble, sky, color, rainbow, dance, dive, sand, sun, beach, waves, bare, splash, moon, night, stars, camp, silence, milky way, desert, morning, lake, boat, song, girl, eyes, hair, tea, talk, connect, story, legend, present, future, hike, walk, you, me.

New Arrival.

On 9th February 2008 Allah blessed me with a son. Exactly 4 years ago on 9th February 2004 my father departed for his eternal journey. Now I have a male companion in a home where I used to be the only male member.

Setting the priorities right.

Last night I saw in my dream that I found a diary of my deceased uncle. When I turned the page a note was written for me. It was written that by now you must have become a highly successful person in your career and established yourself. I thought that it was not so as I was still struggling. I read more and it was written that no matter what you achieve the real success is when you are fair, honest and a good human being. The emphasis of the message was not so much on gaining a high position in a career but on achieving high moral standards in life.