I had never experienced such a thing before but it happened to me lately, a shoot up in blood pressure. It was a silly thing to begin with but when the heat is on you do not recognize how silly you are behaving. I was under stress no doubt, Sam was in the hospital after the cesarean operation, I had not taken proper rest for two nights and financially I was feeling the crunch. In the hospital I was running up and down for medicines and also taking care of Sam because she needed me on her side more than anyone else. When I finally came home for a break a query about certain payment blew it all. I consider the query inappropriate for the time. I felt that no one cares for me and everyone cares only about payments and money.
I felt hurt and I told my heart not to feel well. I felt cold sweat on my forehead and a burden on my heart. My heart started behaving the way I wanted. I was surprised why it was following my mind. Suddenly it happened I had high blood pressure, first time in my life. Damn, why did I order my heart to act erratically. As my condition worsened, panic struck in my home. Baji called for the doctor and my poor mother started crying. I was feeling bad but now it was real. I was feeling a huge burden on my heart. Baji checked my blood pressure and it was 90/140. I was feeling so bad and ashamed. I was not feeling well but I couldn’t allow this to continue. I had to act fast. To calm them I said I was feeling fine. It's ok. No need for taking me to hospital, give me lots of water. I smiled, hugged my mother and told her I love you more than anyone in the world. I told my heart hey I am fine, you idiot, why you listened to me. It didn’t listen now. I kept feeling the pain. I kept quiet and thought of the new born, of Sam, of NL and of all the loved ones. Later on when my heartbeats got normal and I felt ok I went to hospital to see Sam.
Lesson: Never play with your heart. Think positively. Do not react. Control your emotions. Heart will follow what you will say. Take it easy.
Self talk: There is so much beauty in life and you are the most charming man around (I am pampering my heart and I know it very well). Money is no problem and you have to go a long way.
I am fine now but it was a terrible experience.
6 comments:
you know...thats a really sweet post...that just shows how being a new parent is like...man...i honestly cant imagine what you been through...but i can certainly understand what my parents go through...i guess its part of being a parent...its abt sam now...always and forever...wish you the best...hope she feels better soon...inshallah she will...take care...adios.
hey Masd Im so sorry to hear abt ur health issue..sounds very scary!
**I felt that no one cares for me and everyone cares only about payments and money.
I feel that way often too...when loved-ones question abt money it really hurts. I know the feeling so well and I have been in ur shoes. But my happiness is in the fact that Im not a person like that, no matter what others r to me. To those same ppl who used to harass me with money issues, now I give alot. And that comforts me.
I hope u get better soon mate. All the best!
And TC
Keshi.
oh ma God oh ma God oh ma God............
*readind ur last post again*
oh ma God
damn it that is so kool
bohat bohat mubarak ho
wow tat is such a cute gift u got ON ur bday....many many happy returns of da day.....
i didnt know u were married :D cuz u never talked abt it....so wats her name ???? do let us know
i was so bzy wid ma shity life....i had some personal problems i couldnt didnt even check ma mails nor i visited or checked ma own blog n comment box.....
n now i came n checked ur blog n here i am so surperized....
tats so kool
Hav fun wid da lil angel.....
:D
I dont think that u need to panic at all. It does happen at times, doesnt it? especially given the kind of immense pressure that u were going through?? I guess it shud be one of those sudden-high-but-back-to-normal-soon kinda things. Dont ya worry! :)
And yes, do remember that the world is too beautiful, and tht u r the most charming man around. An no, this time, its not self-talk. Its me telling u!
:)
PS: Hope Naveen is doing gr8!:)
@no one: yes being a parent is big responsibility but when little fingers hold your hand you feel on top of the world. I am fine.
@Keshi: yes, i have started to be more assertive regarding my payemnts (my new post) and yes I am becoming proactive to have better financial conditions. I am getting fine.Naveen is fine.
@Velu: you are sucha sweet guy. I smiled on your comments. Thanks buddy. I am feeling better.
Hey man....you better take care of yourself,..!
You know my approach...as no one will care...when it hurts it to us so we better take care of it rather being in a painful situation.
Eat well, put all the worries in the well ;) and exercise and yes smile ...a lottttttttt :D....you have your bundle of joy...deep dive into it :)
Take care
cheers
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